Insights from Our Anxious Attachment MeetUp: Answering Your Questions
Last night’s Anxious Attachment meetup was a truly enriching experience. Thank you to everyone who attended and shared their thoughts, questions, and vulnerabilities. I’ve compiled some of the questions we didn’t get to fully explore during the event and provided answers below. These inquiries reflect deep introspection and a willingness to grow, and I hope my responses help you on your journey.
Q: What influenced you to base core elements of your business/practice on Carl Jung, and what would you say are the downsides of doing so?
A: The combination of Carl Jung’s teachings, mindfulness, and somatic practices are the tools that set me free from anxious attachment, narcissistic abuse, and religious PTSD. Why wouldn’t I base my coaching practice on the very things that worked for me?
Both Jung and Bruce Lee inspired my process with their philosophy: “Take what works, no matter where it came from, and drop what doesn’t.” It would feel inauthentic for me to base my practice on anything I haven’t proven successful in my own life and in the lives of hundreds of my clients.
As for downsides, I believe there’s no downside to being authentic. Authenticity naturally draws in the people who resonate with my work while gracefully allowing those who don’t to move on and find what does. Staying true to what aligns with me ensures I’m offering my best to those who need it.
Q: How do you cope with uncertainty during the times that someone feels distant?
A: Coping with distance and uncertainty starts with self-regulation. Ground yourself in the present moment by focusing on your breath, naming your emotions without judgment, and practicing self-compassion.
Recognize that your worth and security are not defined by someone else’s behavior. Instead, lean into curiosity about their actions without assuming it’s a reflection of your value. Use this time to strengthen your connection with yourself, creating emotional resilience that serves as an anchor during times of relational uncertainty.
Q: How much of my anxiety and irrational attachment thoughts could be health-related, such as a hormone deficiency, gut imbalance, or disruptions in the body’s metabolic processes? How can I determine what to work on first, especially since my negative attachment behavior began in my 50s when my health started to decline?
A: Physical health and emotional health are deeply interconnected. Hormonal imbalances, gut health issues, and metabolic disruptions can significantly influence mood and anxiety levels. I recommend starting with a comprehensive health check-up with a functional medicine practitioner or integrative doctor. Tests that evaluate hormone levels, gut microbiome, and nutrient deficiencies can provide valuable insights.
Simultaneously, address the emotional component. Reflect on whether your attachment behaviors are rooted in past experiences or unmet needs that became magnified during a time of health decline. Working on both physical and emotional aspects together—through therapy, coaching, or somatic practices—ensures holistic healing.
Q: Do you or anyone else here experience this dynamic: doing nothing wrong, yet people rage at you, use you as a verbal punching bag, or invalidate you (e.g., employees in stores, people at markets, etc.)? This makes me feel invalidated, scared, invisible, and I end up isolating. What is this, and what can I do?
A: This dynamic often stems from unresolved energy within others that they project outward. Unfortunately, sensitive individuals can feel like magnets for this kind of misdirected aggression. While it’s painful and unfair, the key is to remember that their behavior reflects their inner turmoil, not your value.
Here are some steps to navigate this:
Energetic Boundaries: Visualize a protective barrier around yourself when in public spaces. This can help shield you from absorbing others’ negativity.
Stay Grounded: Practice grounding techniques (e.g., deep breaths, focusing on the sensation of your feet on the floor) to stay centered when someone lashes out.
Self-Validation: Affirm your worth and humanity. Write down truths about yourself that counteract feelings of invisibility.
Limit Exposure: If certain environments are consistently triggering, give yourself permission to avoid or minimize time in them.
You don’t have to bear the weight of others’ unresolved issues. Protecting your peace is an act of self-love.
These are just starting points for the work we’ll continue to do together. If you resonate with these answers and want to take your growth further, I’d love to support you.
Click here to book your Overcoming Anxious Attachment Assessment Session and take the next step toward healing and connection.
Looking forward to seeing you at the next MeetUp and continuing this journey together. In the meantime, please reach out if you have questions or need support. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season filled with peace and self-compassion!
Warmly,
Zac
Founder & CEO, BreakBox Coaching
Let’s move forward together. Your growth matters. 💖