Let’s talk about choosing yourself. What does that mean? Is it selfish?

Photo by Qingbao Meng on Unsplash

Let’s talk about choosing yourself. What does that mean? Is it selfish?

There is a family living inside you. Your inner child, your ego, your shadow, your wounded parts, your mission. Each of these needs your care & attention in order for you to live your most authentic life.

Choosing yourself means giving conscious attention to these parts of you. Knowing what they need. Providing for them. Nurturing them.

Sound selfish to you? If so, seek solitude. You may be ignoring your core needs.

Choosing yourself. Self-care. Loving yourself. Inner parenting. Parts work. These are all buzzwords and clinical psychology terms and tools for the same thing. Take care of yourself!

Growing up I was told that this was a selfish act. Both by religion and unconscious parenting. I was the black sheep of the family. I was the comedian of the family. I was the free and easy one in the family. I was the slick and slippery substance that tried to make the friction in the family stop.

Consequently, it took me years to learn that my needs mattered. In order to serve and love others well, I really needed to live and serve myself well. We hear this all the time, but for some of us, it doesn’t soak in until we burn out.

Upon burnout we not only feel angry at others we feel anger towards ourselves for allowing things to get to this point. This is the hardest thing to encounter. This self-anger is the part of us that needs love the most.

It’s not your fault. You didn’t know. You were doing your best at that moment. You were being authentic to who you were then. True to yourself. Instead of being angry, be proud that you showed up with authenticity. Be proud that in your moments of self-protection, you cared enough to also want to protect others.

You’re a lover. The world needs you. We need you. I need you. To love yourself first. Give yourself all the care, time, nurture, and attention. Now is your time. We need your love more than ever, so please fill your tank.