Why Do I Resist Change?
We resist change for many reasons. But the most common is because we’re finding something in our current reality that we’re unable or unwilling to let go of. In order to create lasting transformation we must desire the unknown more than the known. This can be a challenge for any of us. Because the natural reaction of the ego is to protect us from perceived lack of safety.
To really change we often must face a dark and scary part of ourselves. Our egos resist this. St. John of the Cross called this change The Dark Night of the Soul.
I’ve been through it many times. To be frank, it fucking sucks. Deep anxiety and panic are not fun. But they are often a very normal part of the process for us.
From our Jungian approach, the "Dark Night of the Soul," can be seen as a deep and challenging encounter with our unconscious mind. It’s a period where a person experiences intense inner turmoil, feeling lost, disconnected, and unsure of their purpose. This isn't just about feeling sad or down; it’s about facing the parts of ourselves that we've hidden or ignored—what Jung calls the "shadow." These are aspects of our personality that we’re not fully aware of, like fears, doubts, or desires that don’t fit with our usual self-image.
During this time, the mind is forced to let go of old beliefs and ways of thinking that no longer serve us. This can be a painful process because it feels like everything we once relied on is falling apart. However, this breakdown is actually a crucial step in personal growth. By confronting these hidden parts of ourselves, we can begin to understand and accept them, which leads to a more complete and authentic version of who we are.
In the end, the "Dark Night of the Soul" is about transformation. It’s like going through a period of darkness and confusion to emerge with a deeper understanding of yourself and a stronger sense of purpose. This journey is essential for becoming more whole and true to yourself, aligning with Jung’s idea of individuation—the process of becoming your most authentic self.
So if you’re facing this right now, hang in there. It’s part of the process. It proves you have entered the cocoon and are about to emerge and change and transform into the butterfly. The Phoenix went through fire. You’re going through the dark night of the soul.