WHAT GROWTH FEELS LIKE: Navigating the Lulls, the Walls, and the Light Within
Growth is not always the radiant bloom we imagine. It’s not always the vibrant, upward momentum of life breaking through obstacles in a blaze of glory. Growth is often quieter, subtler—a deep descent into ourselves, where light and shadow intertwine in ways that challenge our understanding of who we are.
Many people think growth will feel like an endless stretch of empowerment and breakthroughs. The truth is, growth often feels like being stuck, tired, or even blocked. It can feel like an uphill climb with no end in sight, or like you’re carrying the weight of the world while you stand still. But what if I told you these feelings are part of the process? That these moments of confusion and discomfort are actually proof you’re transforming into the fullest, most authentic version of yourself?
In this post, I’ll explore what growth truly feels like—how it ebbs and flows, what the lulls and walls teach us, and how we can support ourselves with patience, kindness, and love during these times. Because growth isn’t about fighting your way forward; it’s about learning to listen to the quiet messages within and allowing yourself to evolve in your own time.
The Lull: A Necessary Pause
One of the most common experiences during growth is the lull—a period of stillness that feels more like stagnation. You may feel like you’ve hit a wall or lost momentum. Maybe you’ve been doing the work—meditating, journaling, reflecting—and now, nothing seems to be happening. It can feel frustrating, even defeating, to put so much energy into growth only to feel like you’re standing still.
But here’s the truth: the lull is not a lack of progress. It’s a sign of integration.
Growth isn’t just about acquiring new insights or breakthroughs. True transformation happens when those insights are woven into the fabric of your being. That takes time. During these lulls, your higher consciousness is working beneath the surface, bringing together the new parts of yourself, your higher self, your ego, and your inner child. These moments of stillness are when the seeds you’ve planted begin to root deeply into your subconscious.
It’s important to honor these times and resist the urge to push through them. Instead of seeing the lull as a sign you’ve stalled, recognize it as an invitation to rest, reflect, and trust the process.
The Wall: Facing Resistance
Then there’s the wall—that seemingly impenetrable block that keeps you from moving forward. For many, the wall manifests as avoidance, fear, or even exhaustion. Perhaps you feel like you’re avoiding something that a part of you desperately wants to address. Maybe you’re aware of your ego’s resistance, like your ego self holding back out of fear of change.
The wall can feel frustrating, but it’s also one of the greatest teachers in the growth process. It represents the part of you that feels threatened by change—the part that clings to the familiar because it equates safety with what it knows. Your ego, for instance, might be trying to protect you from the vulnerability of listening to your inner child. It’s not the enemy; it’s just scared.
Rather than trying to break the wall down, approach it with gentleness and curiosity. Ask yourself:
• What is this wall protecting me from?
• What does my ego need in this moment to feel safe?
• How can I honor both my need for growth and my need for security?
When you meet resistance with compassion instead of force, you allow the parts of yourself that feel scared or blocked to come forward in their own time. This process can be uncomfortable, but it’s where profound healing begins.
The Descent: Going Deep to Integrate
Growth often requires a descent—a journey into the depths of your unconscious to retrieve the parts of yourself that have been left behind. This might feel like facing old wounds, sitting with uncomfortable emotions, or revisiting memories you thought you’d moved past.
This descent can feel disorienting because it forces you to confront the parts of yourself you’ve avoided. But it’s also where integration happens. Your higher consciousness needs to descend into the darkness to retrieve the fragments of yourself that have been buried—like your inner child, your repressed emotions, or the parts of your psyche that hold wisdom hidden behind pain.
This is where self-compassion becomes non-negotiable. The descent is not about fixing or forcing. It’s about holding space for all parts of yourself to be seen, heard, and loved. The more you can approach this phase with kindness, the more you allow the light of your higher self to reach into the shadows.
Rest: A Sacred Act of Growth
In a culture that glorifies hustle and productivity, rest can feel counterintuitive—like you’re giving up or losing progress. But rest is not only essential for growth; it’s a sacred act of self-care.
When you rest, your mind, body, and soul have the opportunity to realign. Even while you sleep, the parts of yourself—your ego, inner child, and higher self—are active. They’re working behind the scenes, reconnecting and beginning to harmonize in ways your conscious mind may not even be aware of.
Before you rest, try setting an intention. For example:
“Ego, Inner Child, Higher Self—I trust you to work together while I sleep. Thank you for taking this time to integrate and heal. I will do my part by resting and being kind to myself.”
This simple act of intention lets your inner parts know that you’re on their side. It also gives you permission to let go of control and trust the process.
What Growth Asks of Us
Growth asks us to show up for ourselves in ways that can feel uncomfortable but deeply rewarding. It asks us to:
Be Patient: Growth doesn’t happen on a timeline. Honor the pace at which your soul is ready to evolve.
Be Kind: Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer a dear friend.
Get Into Nature: Nature has a unique way of grounding us and reminding us of the cycles of life. Spend time outside, even if it’s just a walk or sitting under a tree.
Meditate and Be Still: Stillness allows you to tune into the quieter parts of yourself. Even a few minutes of deep breathing can create space for integration.
Trust the Darkness: The descent into the depths can feel like a loss of light, but it’s where the most profound healing takes place.
What Growth Feels Like
Growth feels like a mix of emotions—some exhilarating, some uncomfortable. It can feel like:
• The lightness of an insight breaking through after weeks of confusion.
• The heaviness of sitting with an old wound that’s ready to be healed.
• The quiet stillness of a lull that feels like nothing, but is actually everything.
• The resistance of hitting a wall, only to find that the wall was protecting something sacred.
Above all, growth feels like life—a beautiful, messy, unpredictable journey of becoming.
The Invitation: Supporting Yourself Through Growth
If you’re navigating growth right now, I invite you to take a deep breath and remind yourself: you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. The walls, the lulls, the darkness—they’re not signs of failure. They’re proof that you’re doing the work, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Take this time to honor your process. Rest, be kind to yourself, and trust that every step you take—no matter how small—is moving you closer to your authentic self. Growth is not about rushing to the finish line. It’s about learning to love yourself through every phase of the journey.
If you’d like support on this path, I’d be honored to walk with you. Together, we can navigate the walls, embrace the lulls, and rediscover the light within. Click the link below to book your assessment and take the next step toward your fullest, most authentic life.
I’m with you, let’s go!
Zac