Each of us, at some point, has leaned into codependency or anxious attachment. It might not always be with a partner. Sometimes it shows up in the way we rely on the government, our employers, the health care system, or even the approval of our social circles to feel safe, secure, or worthy. Whenever we give that power away—expecting something outside of us to fix what’s going on inside—we step into dangerous territory.

In today’s world of dating and relationships, there’s a lot of emphasis placed on "chasing" and "pursuing." The idea that one person should be the hunter and the other the prize creates a dynamic rooted in ego, attachment, and societal conditioning. It’s no wonder that this approach often leads to dissatisfaction, frustration, and relationships that feel hollow.

Falling in love is an exhilarating experience—your heart races, your thoughts swirl, and the world seems brighter. But amidst this emotional whirlwind, it’s easy to start idealizing the person you're drawn to, placing them on a pedestal so high that they seem flawless. While this is a common reaction, it can set the stage for unrealistic expectations, disappointment, and an unbalanced relationship. So how can you avoid this trap and cultivate a healthier, more grounded connection?